UPDATE

I haven't updated in a while so for those of you who don't know, I recently had a door open up for me to take a summer internship in the Appalachian Mountains. University Ministries sent out a Facebook message listing different summer jobs and this one stood out to me. The Appalachian Mountains are home to Americans who are so poverty-stricken to see their life in the United States is sort of transporting yourself to a different country. I felt a need so I applied.
I have a phone interview between a panel of other staff and volunteers. I suppose they're gonna ask me about my experience and stuff which is fine; it's just a bit uncomfortable.
I don't like talking about myself like at all. I feel like when I talk about my experiences, I'm boasting about what I'VE done and really it's all been Jesus through me. I guess I could stress that just to keep me somewhat comfortable on the phone.
The woman sounded really nice over the phone a few minutes ago so let's hope they all are when I talk to them tomorrow.


Prayers are appreciated =)

Collapsed

You're probably wondering why I named this entry "Collapsed". Interesting thing happened yesterday...
I woke up around 7:30AMish and my shoulder was absolutely killing me. I climbed out of my bunk and began the normal stretches. All of a sudden a wave of nauciousness swept over me. I felt like I was gonna vomit, it was really bad. I went to the bathroom and my head was spinning. I closed my eyes (it felt like not even a minute had passed) and when I opened them again, I was on the floor! Yea, I know. Scary. I sat there for a minute, my heart racing, my head beaded with sweat.
"What is going on?!" I thought.
Slowly I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I'm telling you Casper looked tan! At the sight of myself I walked back to my room and climbed back into bed.
I text my mom later yesterday after I'd slept a good three hours and told her what had happened. She thought I had a pinched nerve in my shoulder which was why, when I tried to stretch it out, I felt sick. She thought that's why I passed out and maybe I'm coming down with a cold.
This latter statement I simply refuse to believe because I don't have time to be sick. There are papers to write and things to be done before I go to South Dakota for my mission trip and sickness just doesn't fit into my schedule.
I took some Motrin and slowly my shoulder's nerve began to unkink itself, I suppose, because my shoulder doesn't hurt now. (THANK GOD!)
I feel fine today, like it didn't happen but I still can't believe I collapsed. That's the first time I've fainted and it scared the ever living daylights out of me! Hopefully that doesn't happen ever again.

So there's my tale of trouble. I'm critiquing Belmont's rendition of Anton Chekhov's "Uncle Vanya" tonight so wish me luck!!

WHY?!?!?!

Maybe someone can help me with this.
Today, martha and i went to the basketball game and we were happily watching the game and keeping an eye out on martha's crush. FYI: He's REALLY CUTE!
Well, a few minutes into the half-time show, my man comes in. He walks down to where we're sitting and i sing his name (it's a little thing we've started. every time we see each other, one of us either draws out the other's name or sing the other's name. i tend to sing his, he draws mine out haha). He looks down and says "hey, whats up?" so i turn back around. his tone was a bit curt. i don't react well with tones like that so i didn't really advance with a conversation. Besides, I thought he left.
Apparantely, he didnt. According to martha, he stood behind our row for a good 5 minutes, not scanning for his friends, just standing there watching the show. That would've been a perfect opportunity to talk to him, right? Right. WRONG! Because I didn't talk to him. Instead of turning around and talking to him, I turned the other way to strike up a fake conversation with one of my friends. After a bit, martha said he hesitated a bit and then he went over to where his friends were.
Why did I do that? Martha said I'm acting as if i'm not interested. I don't want to come off as too needy but then I don't want to come off as not interested because I am! I didn't see him all day and then when i do, i screw it up!
I'm hoping he's not thinking he shouldn't like me because he thinks i'm not interested. The entire time he was with his friends he would cheer for Belmont then he would look back and i would catch his eye. I can't stand myself! Everytime there's a perfect opportunity, i screw it up.
The one thing I'm scared of doing, I do. I pray to GOD my man's still interested, if he ever was. Hopefully, God will encourage him and explain the situation...


Did I truly mess up my chances with the man who I think is the one? Crap....

a dream is a wish

As you know, Valentine's Day is tomorrow and despite the fact that I basically just posted a semi-cynical post about the holiday, I still have my wishes.

Mind you, I have never had a valentine. I think the whole thing is proposterous. I wouldn't want a man for just a day. The thing is, I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed. I finally went out on my first date but that turned out to be just that, a date. Nothing less and definitely nothing more. The holiday hasn't really affected me that much because, well, ignorance is bliss and since I don't know what it feels like to have any of those things, I suppose I'm not really missing much. I can't really miss something I've never known. Jesus has been my valentine for the past 18 years and I suppose this year won't be any different. I don't mind. He's the best valentine I could wish for and He loves me every day and shows me that love so I suppose I can't and won't complain.

However, my mind does wander into the caverns of my romantic side and seeing as how I've liked this guy almost a full 2 semesters, my wishes have become more and more. As some of you know and have been following my journey with the man who has my heart, I would love for something to happen between us tomorrow. Sadly, you won't know of my full dreams because if I tell them then they won't come true.

Have a wonderful Valentine's Day!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhTjnzlcIeI

At the end of the day...

I just realized I haven't uploaded pics of our adorable new car. The last time i was home was early Jan. and I've been busy trying to get my computer back to where i had it BEFORE it crashed. Oy. So without further ado, here are a couple of pics of our new mini suv (my car when i graduate haha)

I'm here chilling in my room and guess what? This semester is so spaced out that i can actually read for pleasure! I've finished one book already and have started another. By the way, The Man Who Loved Jane Austen is soo good! There are some hilarious parts and some parts that you just have to let out that girly squeal. Now, I'm reading A Countess Below Stairs by Eva Ibbotson. It reminds me of a Cinderella story in a way. You just have to read it haha. I love Ibbotson's writing. It's so easy and flows well and I love the stories she comes up with.

I'm listening to Queen. Yea, i'm in that mood haha. oook this blog is random and going nowhere so i'm stopping it now haha. enjoy the weekend, everyone!