big, beautiful, white teeth

like i mentioned yesterday, i had to go to the dentist. all day today i was worried my gums would bleed or my teeth would be smothered with plaque, yea, a real pleasing picture i'm making isn't it? haha. but when i sat in that leather seat and the dentist assistant checked my teeth she was happy to say i hardly had any plaque. WOOHOO!! that's always great to hear AND my gums didn't bleed. =) i'm a very happy chica right about now. the only thing is, my wisdom teeth are coming in and my mouth isn't big enough to hold them. sooo gotta get them taken out. i dont think it'll be that bad because the teeth are in the middle of their movement. it was funny because when i told my dad he started freakin' out. he was telling me about the pain and the treatment blah blah blah. i guess getting my wisdom teeth out is just another example that his little girl is growing up.
i was thinking about that a few weeks ago. i'm a senior this year and soon i'll be graduating high school and entering the 'real world'. you'd think i would be a little intimidated but i'm okay with it. the only thing that's gonna be hard is going to be leaving my mom and dad. brothers are okay because they don't get all emotional. they're just like "yea, you'll be home in like 3 months." not so with my parents. every time my mom thinks about me leaving she starts to tear up. then i feel sad and i start tearing up because i dont want her to be tearing up. so we're two women driving down the highway tearing up! it's insane. i guess she's gonna be a blubbering mess when the graduation actually comes. my dad doesn't even want to hear about me leaving because he gets all upset. it's nice, i'm glad he cares but i don't want him to be so...attached haha. we're tight-knit so it will be kind of hard. but it must be done =)

wow, i don't know how in the world i got from my teeth to talking about graduation. i guess that's how my mind works haha! now to enjoy a pasta dish my mom has been cooking up. bow-tie pasta, diced tomatoes, and grilled chicken. looks so good and i'm starved!


"you're a shinin' star no matter who you are"

hot & sweaty

it's a hot one today, folks! by the time i got back from the dentist and shopping, i was sweating like i've never sweated before, except in a gym haha. even though the humidity is like death, it's still very pretty outside. the sky is soo blue, i love it when it's like that! my brothers had to go to the dentist and i accompanied them. alan has a cavity (poor him) and austin is cavity-free but they want to do this thing where they scrape off some of his gum so that his teeth show more. i don't know what it's called but how my mom was describing it, the procedure didn't seem appealing. while they were getting checked, i had to sit on the couch and practically twiddle my thumbs. our dentist really needs to subscribe to vogue, marie claire, seventeen mag, SOMETHING! oy vay, was it brutal! haha. i have to go back tomorrow because it's my turn. woohoo! (can you hear the sarcasm in my typing?) after the dentist, we went to wal-mart (HATE IT) and got some home supplies. i desperately wanted to go to target, not just because it's a better store, but they have the music like right next to the laundry stuff, so i could have walked over and picked out Closer by Josh Groban and a new purse. but, i guess that's gonna have to wait for another day. why couldn't hamilton have put in a target instead of a wal-mart? RED is better!!!
so now after shopping and my recent ranting haha, i am sitting, writing to all of you, waiting for the pizza to come out of the oven and for the X Games to finally start. yes, i am a girl who enjoys watching the event. mostly just the motocross stuff, because it's really cool how they can flip their bikes and themselves while airborne. scary but cool nonetheless. should be very interesting this year...wonder what pastrana is gonna do this time, since he's already done the so-dangerous-i-think-i'm-gonna-faint double backflip. guess i'll have to wait and see. =)




"i am strong when i am on Your shoulders"

troubling

recently i've been struggling with keeping up with my Bible reading. Every day i wake up and know i should read the Word, even if it's just five minutes. It even beckons to me. God lays it on my heart to read. so why don't i do it? i can't spare 5 minutes with the Lord when He's done so much in my life? i read my bible today, just a few minutes ago. i'm in 2nd Kings. David is praising God because He's been so good, protecting david from all kinds of evil because his heart is away from sin and connected to God. i always wanted to be like david, so close to God, so intune with Him. if this is what i desire, why don't i kick my butt into gear and be the Christian i'm supposed to be? Like i said before, God has done so much for me. He's given me clarity for my future, a great school, family, friends who are like sisters to me. so why can't i give Him some time out of my "busy" day, read the Bible, and please Him? i began to read just now and a huge pressure of shame and guilt welled up inside me. it's clear to me now why i had such a hard time stopping the avalanche effect of my cursing. i wasn't in the Word so my conscience, though still feeling guilty, was numb to God's forgiveness and blind to the path of righteousness. Now though, thanks to reading today, i hope i come to my senses, the stupid human being i am, and get back on track with the Lord so He can really move in my life.

proud to be a virgin!

while the sound of riverdance music blares through my speakers, i write. let's cut the dramatics, shall we? haha. was awaken by my dad at 7:10am. he reminded me i had to go to the doctor's office today. my mom clearly stated yesterday, i was allowed to sleep until 8. so i groaned and closed my eyes again. an hour and five minutes later i rose from my bed and quickly changed my clothes. if i went downstairs in my pj's my mom would have rushed me. so, changing into a tube top and jeans i followed my hungry-eyed fat cats, smokey and starlight, down the stairs to the basement. finished feeding them, i moved onto the small 8 pounder, savannah. battling my dog to get out of the way of the door, i finished feeding and letting savannah go outside to roam the countryside. cleaning myself up and grabbing a bagel, my mom and i headed to princeton to the doctor's.
physical, blood work, hpv cervical shot, and meningococcal shot. what struck me as odd though is my doctor talked to me about the hpv shot and said it was even given to girls as young as 9 yrs old. 9 year-olds being sexually active?? this was a shock to me. i am 17 yrs old and have never kissed a guy! these girls are in what? 4th 5th grade, and they're sexually active. having sex. being with a guy and having sexual relations. it's so sad.
i can only ask myself what is this world coming to? what will my children have to face when they're my age and even younger? all these new diseases are coming to light and thankfully, some have vaccines. but what about the ones that can't be treated? what then? what are we supposed to do? and i know some don't think it's a big deal that people are out there having sex. "it's their right, their decision, their life." yes, but what if they catch a disease and become pregnant. that baby has a high chance of contracting the same disease. when they grow up they can pass it on to someone else and then to someone else. do you see how the cycle starts? just because someone couldn't keep their emotions under control and they're legs closed. i know i can't change the entire world, that will have to wait another day (haha). but for now i can stress that having sex out of the protection of marriage is wrong and detrimental to the physical and emotional states of its participants. i can not stress enough to try all you can to abstain from having sex. yes, people think it's more fun but why have fun if it can be deadly? i'd rather have fun knowing i can't get hurt in any way then to risk having the experience (which may be pleasurable at the moment) and getting hurt for years and years to come.


so now from the hpv vaccine my muscle kind of hurts. gonna eat something, heading to the store, hopefully can buy josh groban's cd closer. woo! need some new/old music from him and perhaps i will buy a new purse. i'm sick of this Guess one, even though it's fabulous, time for a change =). going to youth group later on with jill.