troubling

recently i've been struggling with keeping up with my Bible reading. Every day i wake up and know i should read the Word, even if it's just five minutes. It even beckons to me. God lays it on my heart to read. so why don't i do it? i can't spare 5 minutes with the Lord when He's done so much in my life? i read my bible today, just a few minutes ago. i'm in 2nd Kings. David is praising God because He's been so good, protecting david from all kinds of evil because his heart is away from sin and connected to God. i always wanted to be like david, so close to God, so intune with Him. if this is what i desire, why don't i kick my butt into gear and be the Christian i'm supposed to be? Like i said before, God has done so much for me. He's given me clarity for my future, a great school, family, friends who are like sisters to me. so why can't i give Him some time out of my "busy" day, read the Bible, and please Him? i began to read just now and a huge pressure of shame and guilt welled up inside me. it's clear to me now why i had such a hard time stopping the avalanche effect of my cursing. i wasn't in the Word so my conscience, though still feeling guilty, was numb to God's forgiveness and blind to the path of righteousness. Now though, thanks to reading today, i hope i come to my senses, the stupid human being i am, and get back on track with the Lord so He can really move in my life.