It Can't Be...Can It?

Recently, I've been thinking. I know sometimes thinking can be a bad thing because one can overthink or underthink. It all depends on the thoughts.

These thoughts are thoughts of the heart. Allow me to elaborate. You all know about this guy. No he's not a guy because the word guy sounds so disposable. No, he's a man. There, that's more concrete. So, this man, I've liked since I saw him. I met him at church. Good place to meet people at church, eh? Yeh. Since I was young I have liked guys but they haven't liked me back and, while liking them, I always felt as if there was something more, that there just HAD to be something more, even though I genuinely liked these guys. I liked them but there was no true attatchment, nothing telling me "Ah, Amanda, this is the one for you, lass." (don't know why I just did scottish but bear with me for it's early in the morning)

With the last crush crushing me, I went to off to college. I was certain I would find someone OUTSIDE of the quaint 24 acres I came to know and love and the little Christian school I was since I was 5 yrs old.

And, it seems I have.

There have been so many coincidential clues, so many things have happened and have been said and dreamed to make me think there's something to this man and me. There's been constant encouragement from my heart and mind when things seemed bleak. Every time another girl waltzed into the picture, like girls have in the past, I didn't feel hopeless like I usually would. My heart pulled me closer and though my mind was beginning to slip my heart whispered, "Hold on. Don't give up hope. You can't give up hope not now." Okay, so I've held on and in that amount of time, I've seen so many clues pointing me in the direction of him it's hard to deny it.

When does something become something you can believe in with your whole heart? When doesn't it become a question anymore?

I want to be certain about him. In my heart I feel as though I've found who I've been waiting for. He's the one I've been asking God for, the one who I've been praying to come into my life. Could it be he's finally arrived?

I truly hope so.