Thursday, October 8, 2009

Thoughts came back...he didn't

The memories came back today. I thought I had fought them off, but, alas, as I was reading my medieval world homework, he came back to mind. I fell asleep, thinking I could get rid of him just as quickly as he came. I awoke unsuccessful. '

The questions came back, too. Why hasn't he written me? What's going on? Where is he?

I thought I was good to move on. I pondered over these opportunities that are opening up:

I bumped into my basic news instructor today and she beamed over me, saying how proud she is of me. She then began to tell me about magazines and newspapers, stating matter-of-factly that I'm ready for them. When I came back to my dorm, to my thoughts, I just kept thinking of him smiling and nodding in approval. He would be proud. He was proud when he was here, encouraging me and flashing a smile every time I talked about the successes. He never said he was proud, but I could feel it: the awe of the compliments as he saw them unfold--one by one.

In light of these thoughts, I think it's time to share what I wrote a few weeks back when I was thinking of him as I am now.

1


It’s been seven years, a

Short but long seven years

Since I have seen your face,

Hugged you tightly.

The cicadas are calling the trees and

Likewise, my soul calls for you.

“Where are you?”-“Where are you, my love?”

2

Oceans surround the earth with their crashing waves

Their dark curtains, rolling and flowing,

Trying ever so hard to destroy the ships that

Rise and fall with the motions.

They taunt.

“Try. Just try and get passed us.”

The waters dance in too-soon victory.

These dark crashing waters separate us.

3

But, oh, my love—though I in flesh am far away—

My love leaps and bounds and flies over the waters,

Over those high crashing monsoon tides,

Finds you

And surrounds you—unbeknownst—

Like a fluttering ethereal spirit

My love surrounds you

Where you tread

Wherever you lie

4

Men gaze, stare, and catch my eye

But they look away, for they see

In my eyes a soul not there, a

Girl whose soul, they know, is with

Another

“She gave her heart too soon.

Love grasped her too tightly, too quickly,

Too quickly.”

5

Too quickly? I ask. Is it all so

Harmful to truly love?

Though you are not near to me in body

You are with me in spirit.

Though you packed my heart among

The other possessions you took—oh! How you possess me!--

I have never felt so alive!

Love, if awakened early, is harmful

Love that has pricked the heart

At just the right moment is

Wonderful

To love the right one

Is as natural as breathing

For love, that age-old ‘motion, is

Air for the soul

My love, though your flesh is far,

In my slumber, amidst the many

Flashes of color, behind my lids

You are there.

6

It’s been seven years, a

Short but long seven years

Since I have seen your face

Hugged you tightly.

The moon is full and all is quiet

As is my heart.

For I know tonight,

I will dream of you and will continue

To dream

Until the day our hearts join again.

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