Church--a place of worship or a place for haughty eyes and gossip?

Yesterday was no doubt Sunday which meant getting up to walk to church (so windy, I felt at home haha) and praise the Lord.

While church is a union between brethren, what happens when the brethren aren't acting as one body? The church gets split right? And what if the pastor is airing out the 'dirty laundry', as one of my friends so candidly called it. A deep dissatisfaction for church begins to rise in me and I start to ask what's the point? (ie. the old pastor left and now the old people want their music and customs while the young ones want to move ahead into the modern world. It seems immature, which it is, but apparently it's really important to them)

What is honestly the point of sitting in church, singing and listening to a sermon, if there are whispers and gossiping going on? IN A CHURCH, mind you. Aren't we supposed to be different? Aren't we supposed to love each other and work together for a common cause? What is your common cause? Honestly? Why do you get up early in the morning for church? Why? Are you doing something productive during the days you aren't in church that you seriously need a revitalization and an encouraging word?

If you're not going out and trying to make a difference during the course of the week and actually trying to be good and righteous with the Lord's help of course, then why waste your time at church? It's just an opportunity for those who aren't doing anything talk nasty about the ones who are. The church I go to now that I'm in college is splitting. It's not what it once used to be. The old folk want 'their songs' played instead of the young ones, which I don't get because they're the Lord's songs anyway.

The preacher yesterday said something that really PISSED me off. It turned me off and for the rest of the sermon I was arguing and completely going out of my mind because I just wanted to stand up and get away from that 'church business' which made me dislike the entire concept of modern church.

After worship, the preacher comes up to the pulpit and the first thing out of his mouth is "New hymnals. As you can see, they're a bit thicker and that's because as well as the old songs there are the new songs as well." He turned to Rachel, our piano player, and told her the worship team should start playing some of the old songs which they "all know and love". Everyone began laughing but I sat there dumbfounded that he even said that!

What's the difference? What's the difference between old songs and new songs if they're all for the lifting up of the Lord? Do you really think God matters or notices whether they're old or new songs? No. That's just the human mindset.

I'm starting to see why there's discord among the 'brethren' and I really want to keep my distance. I'm not going to be involved at all.

Another thing that bugs the crap out of me is when the ones who are involved don't reach out to those who want to be involved but don't know how because they don't know what is going on. The ones who are involved get themselves into a clique and they don't want anyone else in their little group, especially a girl who's father is a biker so she's been exposed to what Christianity really is.

I'll tell you one thing, it's not about how many dinners or bible studies you have. Bikers don't have any of that. They have their motorcycles, Jesus, and each other. That's their church. They ride to church, fellowship with big bear hugs and laughs and share the Word. Their eyes are opened to the lost and the broken because they've seen that side of life; they've lived through it; that's where they've come from. They reach out and help anyway they can, even if it's just giving someone a bottle of water and a chair to sit on to talk. They do what they can with what means they have. THAT is Christianity. Every Sunday is the same and their attitude is the same throughout the week. Bikers don't change. They are who they are and if you can't see past the leather and chains well then I guess you won't know the best men you will ever meet.

That's what I've grown up around--that kind of love toward one another and to the lost. Then I come here, the 'Bible belt of America', and what do I find? A bunch of cliques, discord, and no unification at all. Turns me off.

Will I stop going? Probably not because that's where my roommate is accustomed to going to now so I can't not go because of me. I have to be considerate of her. It just irks me to the extreme when I've come from a place where it's love to a place where there's no love it's just "what can I get out of it?" not "what can I give out?"



It's despicable.