i'll be love's suicide

A cat landed on the wicked witch, not a house!

Breaking News: Alan put a number lock on his phone and doesn't know the password. LOVELY.

Speaking of phones: It's definite we're going to get new phones tomorrow. I have my eye on the Env2 in maroon. I'm gonna get that one because it has a full keyboard and it's in MAROON! Why wouldn't I get that phone? haha

Also, I need some help. As some of you know, I have a critique blog that I use to critique movies, music, plays, books, WHATEVER. I need people to tell people I have this blog because I need readers and a large span of people to report to. Right now, it's not going too great. I would love it if people read my critique blog and then commented just to let me know they read it. Some feedback would be nice too. So please, tell your family, friends, colleagues, anyone with a computer!

That's all for now...ciao!

A Bit Better

Today is better than yesterday, thank God! Grandmom is out of the hospital and was commanded to rest. She was running around during Christmas, trying to get us gifts. This was AFTER she had been working a full day at the hospital as an accountant. She's 74 and she's out running like she's 30. Hey, if it keeps her young...but still, not at the expense of her health which is what she did.
Grandmom Poling is over and slept over last night. I went to church and mom has been cleaning and doing laundry. I'll go upstairs after I'm done writing and help her out.
Jill wants me to go to NYC with her tomorrow but I don't know if my parents will let me wander the streets of Times Square without them haha. I'm going on the 3rd to see Mary Poppins (SO EXCITED!) and the tree at Rockefeller Center so I don't know if I want to go.
I haven't gotten a phone yet, dear readers. My mom insists it's on her to-do list but I need a phone like NOW! Ah well. We'll try to go...maybe we'll go to the verizon store tonight or tomorrow. *Crossing fingers* I still don't know what kind of phone I want but I'm leaning toward the env2. I dunno...any suggestions?
Oh and I just found out my mom took days off from work so we can spend time together before I head back to Nashville on the 13th. She's so cool. Maybe we'll go shoppin'. YEAYA


Okay, enough rambling. I must go and help with something...

PHOTO ALBUM

Green Hills Mall





Opryland


Oyin's Christmas Party


Basement Decorations




Gingerbread Train making
CHRISTMAS!
The Sibs Dad & Mom


Well, those are the pics I have for the month of December. Christmas was spectacular! Oh, if you're wondering who the cat is, it's Starlight snuggled in one of Adam's new shirts haha

Some Tough Times, Ma

2 days after Christmas 4 days before New Year's

There's some troubled times brewing on the Stravinsky 24 acre plot of land today. I just got home frmo a quick store run with the boys and as I walked into the front door, mom was on the phone with my pop pop. It seems as though my grandmom's cold is getting worse, to the point where she can't breathe. My dad urged my grandmom to go to the hospital. My mom just went over to the house to hear my grandmom's lungs and do a quick check-up to see if she needs to go to the hospital or not. My mom's a nurse by the way. Meanwhile, my dad got a call from one of his friends asking if he's going to the motorcycle ministry meeting. My dad's hip has been bugging him to the point where it's difficult for him to stand for long periods of time. He got an MRI last wednesday and the doctor didn't say anything to him. My dad thinks he's gonna need a hip replacement soon which is yet another thing we have to deal with. Meanwhile, Austin and Alan and grand mom Poling (my mom's mom) were sitting at the table listening and giving their own opinions. I stood next to the basement door, wanting to escape and come downstairs and leave the hubbub and the troubles that were brewing upstairs. So, I came here to type and ease my mind.
I don't understand why there's always something that has to happen. Nothing can ever be peaceful and work properly and just can't seem to be nice. There's always some heartache, something breaks, someone gets hurt or sick. It seems like there's so much that goes on in this household I forgot what it was actually like to live here in the Drama House. haha. My dad thinks there's a curse on the Stravinsky name which I think is totally proposterous. But, now that I actually think about it, maybe he's not too far off with that idea...I know it's silly but if you lived here and stayed here for a year, I think you would be happy you weren't blood. We take upon our burdens and deal but sometimes it gets to be a lot just to remember to breathe.
It doesn't seem to make sense. A few days ago, everything was fine. Now, the household is topsy turvy again.


The bright side: at least I get a different last name when I marry since I'm a girl. Sucks to be a Stravinsky male hahaha kidding.

Christmas!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Yes, I know, I'm a bit late but just deal. I hope everyone had a wonderful, relaxing Christmas filled with Jesus' joy and peace. I know I did.
Even though the economy is in a state of recession, God still blessed my parents so we kids could get everything we asked for on our lists. I didn't ask for much: a few CDs, movies, a new Bible, a leather-bound planner (very business like haha) and a recorder for interviews since, yes, I am quickly becoming a bonafide journalist with God's help. I got everything I asked for and then some, including a calendar of Michael Phelps. My mom thought she could 'rekindle' the 'love' I once had for him by buying me the calendar. I cracked up.
The recorder I got is a Sony and OMG it's so tiny I can easily slip it into my pocket and the recorder has voice recognition so it'll turn on and start recording so I don't have to press buttons. Now, I know what you're thinking. Is this legal? YES! As long as one person knows the interview is being recorded (that would be me) then it's perfectly legal. The only way it isn't legal is if you're interviewing two people at a time. You have to notify at least one person that the interview is going to be recorded and then you can procede.
And now, I will procede lol
My new Bible is GORGEOUS! It has a purple leather cover with engraved flowers on the covers. The pages are silver lined and it's skinny enough so I don't have a bulky Bible when I travel. I can easily slip it into my carry-on and voila! Easy travel. My planner is beautiful too. Instead of leather, my mom found this pretty fabric bound planner. It's still very businessy but has a touch of prettiness with flower stenciled pages. I'm so excited to start using it.
As for the boys' big items...
Adam got a camcorder
Austin got a hunting bow &
Alan got a 19 inch tv for his room.
I think we all did pretty well with stores' sales prices 8% lower than last year. God has been so good to us. He always makes a way for us to enjoy Christmas by giving each other the new have-to-have gift! God is so good.

Jill's about to come over so I will blog probably tomorrow. I think we're going phone shopping tomorrow so hopefully I'll have a new texting device haha

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Christmas 4--RECAP

Allow me to regail to you, fellow readers, of my December adventures thus far. As you already know we went to build-a-bear to buy each other our gifts. On sunday, the 7th, I went caroling with a few of the people from Belmont Heights. Guy #1 was there and we even shared a caroling book under candlelight as we strolled and sang. He looked even more handsome as candlelight cascaded on his strong features...*cleas throat* CONTINUING! After caroling we went into the gym and played some basketball (girls won by the way! WOO!) Guy #1 put up a good fight and he was pretty impressed I was able to stretch so low to the ground while dribbling the ball away from his brother. I'm pretty flexible I must say. We took a break for some hot chocolate and talked a bit. We continued our game and then headed back. He and I walked together while his brother and two other girls were behind us. I made him laugh with my put on English accent. He's so cute. He threw his head back and cracked up. That was the highlight of my night.

Dead day was Wednesday. For those of you who do not know: Dead Day is a day where Belmont students are give na day completely off of school to study before finals. Everyone is tired from the end of classes and excessive studying. Hence, the name! Martha, Amanda, Ash, and myself spent our day not studying but shopping. It was a great day spent.

Finals came and went. I only had 4 to worry about and 2 were in Jazz (one was a movement final the other was a written). On Tuesday after my math final (YUCK!) I went over Amanda's house. It's gorgeous by the way. Her stepmom, Holly, is an amazing cook and cooked a breaded poppyseed chicken in this chowder colored sauce. Sounds weird but it was delicious! I slept over her house because wednesday was my flight out to Jersey and her house is closer to the airport. Wednesday came and we went back to Belmont to pick up our cool RA, Charity. She came over to watch Elf and make a gingerbread house. Funny pictures are soon to follow haha.

Wednesday night was my flight. We went upstairs to print out my ticket and lo and behold my flight was cancelled!!! I was sooo upset! I immediately called the airport and booked a morning flight out. I never got the information as to why the flight was cancelled.

Thursday morning didn't come soon enough. I had an awesome time at Amanda's but when home is just a hop skip and a jump away (only an hr 20 flight), restlessness comes over ya. Amanda drove me to the airport and I got on my plane. I won't go into the details as to how annoying my flight was. I think that was the most annoying flight EVER! Maybe I was just anxious to get home. Ah well.

I was picked up from the airport by my parents and we drove to the dealership. Our silver van served us well for about seven years but, sadly, the engine gave out. It would've cost more for us to replace the engine so instead we bought a new car. It was quite simple, too, surprisingly. We ended up getting a 2005 black Tucson. It's so adorable! I love getting in that car and riding around town. It's too cute! Again, pictures will follow lol.

On Saturday, I went to Oyin's Christmas party. Just a small get together. Only a handful of us actually showed up but it was fine and loads of fun. We all caught up our lives with one another and took a few pictures. I missed my friends so much. Even though I'm quickly making new ones and growing close with them, I still miss my sisters.

Sunday was a big decorating day. Sadly, we didn't go to church because the roads were turning to ice. So, we stayed indoors and played Christmas music while we decorated every room downstairs (including the basement: the bar looks so cool!) Pictures to follow.

That was basically my month. Haha. I'm home now and enjoying every minute of it. I mostly got all my shopping done which is great. I have to shop for mom and have to try to find Scene It: Seinfeld Edition for my dad. He's obsessed with Seinfeld! I also have to get Jill's gift which I'm thinking will be another nutcracker. I think I'm going to start a collection for her.

We're supposed to build a gingerbread train tomorrow. I'll have my mom take loads of pictures so you can see our shananigans. Alrighty, it's about 12 am so I think I'm going to finish my book and then hit the hay.

Christmas is in 3 days!!!!

Christmas 3

Christmas is a time for giving, a time for sharing, a time for BUILD-A-BEAR!!! That's right, I said build-a-bear. My friends and I drew names from a hat about a month ago for secret santa. We all decided we would get each other build-a-bears because then there's no guess game going on.

On Friday, we went to build-a-bear to make the bears or animals of what our secret santas wanted. I had Martha and all she wanted was a bear. Simple enough. I decided on a tannish bear and dutifully did the ritual that is build-a-bear, keeping the heart warm, rubbing it on my nose, forehead, funny bone, and stomach. If you've been to build-a-bear, you understand. For those who haven't, like I hadn't until Friday, you probably would think it's proposterous and pretty silly but hey, it's for fun. =)

I decided on an outfit and gave the name Snuggles Hot Pants McGee to him. He's pretty gangster. I asked for a horse and Amanda got me a horse and gave him a little sweater. He's so cute! His name is Tonto Icicle Pants. LOVE HIM! Here are some pics of our wonderful night out.

Ash and Cinna-bunz Martha and Snuggles Me and Tonto Ash, Janelle, Kimi, Me, Martha, Mo

the gang! Mo and her zebra Kimi and her penguin

It was a night well spent for sure! Love you girls!! ♥

Christmas 2

I suppose every title for my blog will be titled Christmas. I don't know what it is about this year that's so different. I'm away from home, like I've already expressed, and am missing the decorating and such but I feel so happy in spite of that. Finals are next week and you'd think I would be stressing, but, truthfully, I'm not.

I have my headphones in and have my computer tuned to NOW 97.5 philly which is solely Christmas music, one right after the other. I'm in such a great mood. Forget the unanticipated cold. It's a glorious gloomy day in good ol' Nashville. Christmas is in like what? 3 weeks? I'm so stoked!

Every week or so, I try to write a new Bible verse on our mirror, just to remind the girls, even if tests and stuff have them bogged down, Jesus is still with them. Sort of like a weekly encouragement thing they can wake up to every morning. So, this week, and the rest of the time we're in college before Christmas I'm going to write Christmas inspired verses. This week's verse is appropriately taken from Isaiah 9:6.

"For to us a Child is born, to us a Son is given, and the government will be placed on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

Just writing that verse gives me chills! That simple verse has so much power and hope it's wonderful! This verse immediately put me in a great mood. Now, I have Christmas music. Before I wrote the verse I was a bit perplexed...

For those of you who don't know (aka my blog readers) there was this guy I met my first day of classes. His name is, well let's call him boy and he was in my English class. Well, after class he walked me to my dorm and asked if I wanted to get together with him. Now, at this point I didn't really know the HIM (the guy I like now) , so I didn't have feelings for him at all. So, boy and I exchanged numbers and went out for a drink at the cafe'. We talked a lot, got to know one another a bit better, and that was it. That night, he text me saying he was transfering out of my English class for another class that was more suitable to his time. After that, I never saw him on campus EVER. We text but when you don't have that human connection you sort of drift apart.

There's the background. Now, here's more recent events. He just text me last night and asked to get together for coffee. Mind you, I haven't text him or talked to him for like two months! He text me to wish me a good Thanksgiving but that was it. I am kinda curious as to why I don't see him on campus anymore, but as far as trying to start something again, I just don't think that's gonna be possible. I like HIM way too much to consider another guy. Boy is sweet and all but I think we can just be friends. I'm afraid I'm going to lead him on and then hurt him. I've been hurt before and I've been led on and it's just not cool. Believe me, even if you aren't really attached to the guy/girl, it still hurts terribly. I don't want to lead him on because I don't want to be that sort of person. I mean, I do like him, just not like I like HIM. Why must my life be so complex? Boy and I are going to have coffee Saturday at like 4:30...pray I don't do anything to mislead him with my beauty hahaha.

On a serious, light-hearted, wonderful, note.

My friends and I are going to Opryland to see the gorgeous Christmas displays they have. My one friend's dad worked in the Opryland hotel, so she knows the ins and outs of the Christmas decorations haha. Should be fun. I'm so stoked...such a northerner. haha. And then on Sunday, ash and I are going to go caroling. Hopefully HE will come along. How lovely would that be? Oh I'm excited!

Okay, ya'll. I have essays to write and math homework to do. Also, I have a feature article to write so I better get cracking on that. Have a great day, everybody!




"In the air there's a feeling of Christmas"

Christmas...

Christmas. Just the word sends shivers of excitement down my spine! I can't wait to go home and bake cookies, sing Christmas carols, put up the tree, and, again, be in wonderment about the greatest gift God gave us. This Christmas is different because 1) I'm not home to help decorate (though my family better leave the tree alone, in its box, until I'm home to help decorate it) and 2) it's my first Christmas where I'm an actual adult. YIKES!
you know, it's so weird calling myself an adult. Is there some sort of change that takes place as soon as you turn 18? What defines an adult from a kid? I still feel like a kid, a teenager. I guess in some sense i am because i am eight-TEEN. But, here i am, in college making my own life, but I'm still supposed to (and feel i must) go back home and perhaps salvage what childhood memories still remain within me...
Back to how much i love Christmas! haha. I made a list for my parents before i left for college after thanksgiving. sure, it's a bit early but I'm not wasting money on postage stamps to mail out a Christmas list so i made one before i left. The list is very short. I really just want the music, movies, and a new Bible. However, what i really want can't be wrapped in a box. I want the man I've liked ever since i laid eyes on him in august. Now, i know what you're thinking. "August? That's too short a time. And of course you'll want him. It's Christmas--a season of peace and LOVE." Though i do concur with the former statement, yes it has been a short while, I'm not wanting him just because it's Christmas. There's something different about him, about the whole event of liking him. For the first time in my life, i have been totally comfortable around him. I feel relaxed and at ease when I'm around him. I don't feel as if i have to prove myself or make myself a certain way. There's gotta be some meaning to that. I was always shy, but with him i can totally be me without fear of him not liking me.
Maybe it's my confidence level. But, i know in my heart there's gotta be something more to this. I just don't hang around guys or hang on to guys like other girls. I pick and choose the ones I'm interested in and slowly go after them, timidly slow. But with him, i can't really see me with anyone else. I try but I can't. sure, I comment on how cute a random guy is, who doesn't? But as far as seeing myself with anyone else, or liking anyone else, i think he's it. I think if nothing became of us I would have to move to a different country! He's just so indescribably honest and thoughtful and self-sacrificing. He loves Jesus with all his heart and you can just see it! I really don't think I would ever think I deserve him. I don't deserve half the things I have but I have them anyway. Maybe he could be the same.
I've prayed about the situation almost every night. I go to bed thinking about him. Yes, I'm pouring out my heart right now. There's just so much I can't express. I really can't define what this is. I've tried to use the word love but that's not it. Not yet. It's more along the lines of adoration and affection towards him.
Yes, I've made a list but what are materials? Where will materials get you? Besides getting the new Bible, I could care less if I truly got anything else. I've never wanted anyone like this in my life. It's scary but exciting. This Christmas, I want something that can't be put in a box.

What I really want is him.